“Why you gotta be so rude, don’t you know I’m human too…”

I loved this song so much when I first time I heard this, I loved the reggae beat with the soft rock vocals but like too many good songs recently it was ruined for me by local radio stations having only a few songs to play therefore overplaying and killing the enjoyment of this once good song. Anyway its the sentiment of this line that i want to talk about and not my anger at local radio, I believe that this poses a question that I am asking on a daily basis “Why are people so rude?”

I have experienced all types of rudeness directly and indirectly, i have been sworn at, called names, patronized, belittled, mocked, been shouted at, been ignored just to name a few but why do we treat each other this way in the immortal words of Tupac “We gotta change the way we treat each other, you see the old way wasn’t working so its on us to do what we gotta do to survive.”   Why in this society do we feel the need to put others down constantly? I thought that after High School all the social politics and being treated unfairly would stop but it didn’t then i thought when i move up the work ladder it will but it doesn’t it is jut this viscous circle of rudeness and put downs.

I recently started a job where I am managed by someone who is difficult to get along with as its a Jekyll and Hyde situation, one day all is good and work is appreciated and a good working relationship is enjoyed by all, the next it is walking on eggshells and trying to guess what is required of you on the instructions of “I just want this done”. I know that i cant be the only one that feels like this, I feel there is no need for consistent snappy behavior, Inconsistent instruction and decisions made out of the way you are feeling in the moment rather than level headed appropriate decisions.

For someone of my age i have worked in a lot of places and experienced this in every context, the retail industry, education, service industry, social work and sadly even the Church. So why must we be made to feel like this? I believe that for most of us who have experienced this can go one of two ways we can take the sadly less chosen path, which i strive to adhere to, “I will always treat people the way I would like to be treated” or we get into the mindset that Tupac was trying to get us out of and say “That’s just the way it is, Somethings will never change”

I really wish that i could round this short entry off with some tried and tested words of wisdom on how to deal with these types of situations/people but unfortunately I am still testing this one out and its difficult but im not going to stop doing it. it comes from Matthew 5:39 “You have heard that it was said, ‘AN EYE FOR AN EYE, AND A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH.’ 39“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” Jesus faced the same crap that we had to but how did he respond? with grace and love, at the moment this is proving difficult because im frustrated, feel unfairly treated and annoyed and inconsistencies but im pretty sure Jesus faced much worse that my Jekyll and Hyde boss.

So to close Its all about Perspective, will you care about what is being said to you in a week/month/year, and Loving through the crap your going through because when you start resenting that is when you start your journey to “The Dark Side” and soon you become one of these people.

“You know I’m cool with just Chillin’ it…”

This line is from one of my newest favorite songs – Chillin’ it by Cole Swindell. I love this song because it is a great mix of catchy pop and authentic Country, could there be any better mixture? This dude is like a male Taylor Swift.

The reason i chose to write about this line is that i have always thought that this was one of my core values or even my ethos, if you will, i have always taken great pleasure in the fact that i am really laid back and up for anything that life throws my way good or bad, but recently i have had this steady ‘go with the flow attitude’ tested. In all areas of my life i have always been very open handed with what i have and always known that things can change in a heartbeat in most situations, but when i was asked to stop doing something that i love so much i found that i wasn’t as easy going as i had thought, i became precious about this thing and started to feel hard done by. I had a position of leadership taken away from me and i had always said i would be alright if this happened but now that the rubber was hitting the road i felt all  the pain and self doubt that this brought with it.

All i could think about was all the bad things; “i must be doing a crappy job”, “im not good enough” and “they just want someone better”; i’m sure that i am not the only one that has had these feelings. I went completely into a George McFly, Droopy the dog, Ron Swanson approach to life of this sucks and there is nothing i can do about it. I was in a pity pot hole where i felt sorry for myself and nothing else filled my head other than negativity. The only way i could describe is like Ron Burgundy when he lost his role as Channel 4 News Anchor, a shell of his former self all the bravado, confidence and authority taken away, Luckily for me Milk was a good choice as its always cold in Bedford and Milk is a great source of calcium. It was at this point that i felt if i was in a movie i would have stopped shaving, started wearing my old tattered Van Halen T-shirt and start shouting at Antiques Roadshow on TV. Thankfully i decided to think about how great it was that i even had an opportunity to hold such a leadership position and this started to take me out of my pity pot hole and started an assessment avalanche (apologies for all the alliteration) i started to look back and assess where i had been, what i had achieved and how i never even thought i would do 10% of what i have. Now you know that i believe in God and that he has a plan for everyone, but even though i know this i am still surprised every time something like this happens and he makes something great out of a painful situation. Since coming out of this position i have more time and i have found that i am flourishing in lots of areas in connection with my wife, at work, with song writing and i now have the brain space to think about big life decisions that i had been pushing back because i just couldn’t deal with them at the time.

One thing that i heard while feeling like this that really comforted and challenged me is this; “if God says no its only because he has a better yes for you – Bill Johnson” So i have decided that i am just going to be “Chillin’ it” from now on as i don’t really have a lot of say in matters like this and i know that the person who does not only has my best interests but also wants me to flourish in what i’m doing and reach my dreams.