“You know I’m cool with just Chillin’ it…”

This line is from one of my newest favorite songs – Chillin’ it by Cole Swindell. I love this song because it is a great mix of catchy pop and authentic Country, could there be any better mixture? This dude is like a male Taylor Swift.

The reason i chose to write about this line is that i have always thought that this was one of my core values or even my ethos, if you will, i have always taken great pleasure in the fact that i am really laid back and up for anything that life throws my way good or bad, but recently i have had this steady ‘go with the flow attitude’ tested. In all areas of my life i have always been very open handed with what i have and always known that things can change in a heartbeat in most situations, but when i was asked to stop doing something that i love so much i found that i wasn’t as easy going as i had thought, i became precious about this thing and started to feel hard done by. I had a position of leadership taken away from me and i had always said i would be alright if this happened but now that the rubber was hitting the road i felt all  the pain and self doubt that this brought with it.

All i could think about was all the bad things; “i must be doing a crappy job”, “im not good enough” and “they just want someone better”; i’m sure that i am not the only one that has had these feelings. I went completely into a George McFly, Droopy the dog, Ron Swanson approach to life of this sucks and there is nothing i can do about it. I was in a pity pot hole where i felt sorry for myself and nothing else filled my head other than negativity. The only way i could describe is like Ron Burgundy when he lost his role as Channel 4 News Anchor, a shell of his former self all the bravado, confidence and authority taken away, Luckily for me Milk was a good choice as its always cold in Bedford and Milk is a great source of calcium. It was at this point that i felt if i was in a movie i would have stopped shaving, started wearing my old tattered Van Halen T-shirt and start shouting at Antiques Roadshow on TV. Thankfully i decided to think about how great it was that i even had an opportunity to hold such a leadership position and this started to take me out of my pity pot hole and started an assessment avalanche (apologies for all the alliteration) i started to look back and assess where i had been, what i had achieved and how i never even thought i would do 10% of what i have. Now you know that i believe in God and that he has a plan for everyone, but even though i know this i am still surprised every time something like this happens and he makes something great out of a painful situation. Since coming out of this position i have more time and i have found that i am flourishing in lots of areas in connection with my wife, at work, with song writing and i now have the brain space to think about big life decisions that i had been pushing back because i just couldn’t deal with them at the time.

One thing that i heard while feeling like this that really comforted and challenged me is this; “if God says no its only because he has a better yes for you – Bill Johnson” So i have decided that i am just going to be “Chillin’ it” from now on as i don’t really have a lot of say in matters like this and i know that the person who does not only has my best interests but also wants me to flourish in what i’m doing and reach my dreams.

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