Simon and Garfunkel have to be one of the most prolific and best lyrical voices ever, this is not a light saying even though i am often accused of overusing hyperbolic language. This song is one of my constant repeaters at the moment and one that throughout my life has never seemed overplayed as each time something sounds new or fresh in it.
I love that “Homeward bound” is a real travellers song that is just as much about leaving the comfort of home as it is about returning to that comfort and recently this has been a very prominent feeling in my life as myself and my wife embark on our own journey “with suitcase and guitar in hand”. This has been a season of excitement for new adventures but also the worries that go with that of what happens when we decide to become homeward bound once again and both of these are topics I want to look at here.
Firstly excitement, I have always been easily excited from being allowed to play football on the big field in primary school at lunchtime through to just this last month my excitement for the new Star Wars movie could hardly be contained, however this is often a drop in an often larger ocean of doubt and worry. Even in those examples just before would quickly change from the elation and excitement to an analytical assessment of what could happen for this euphoric happiness to turn into deflated disappointment, I often find myself in a spiral that goes a little like this “This is AWESOME! The only thing that could change this now would be… Oh what if that does happen, how could that happen, how could I stop that, what are the odds of this happening, I’m gong to do X, Y and Z to make sure it doesn’t happen” and before I know it this analysis has almost robbed me of all the excitement of the moment. A little while back I had to stop myself from doing this as it would have ruined a life long dream, I was finally going to see U2 live which is something I have wanted to do since I was “One” (see what i did there?) and I was absolutely buzzing about it from the minute I bought the ticket to the 12 months after when the morning of the gig eventually arrived but half way through the day this spiral started of, “what if the gig doesn’t take place, what if Bono calls me up on stage and my phone runs out of battery before i can take a photo, what if they only play for an hour, and so on” I could have listed another 100 things but had to realise that this was not one of those times where my Good Will Hunting like brain for things like this was positive, it was more of a hindrance to my happiness and I just had to switch off.
So my way of coping with this when I can is to recognise when it is happening and evaluate if it is a good thing that will improve my happiness or if it is robbing me of it and I need to switch it off.